The Tao of Forgiveness

I have been reading a book called the Tao of Forgiveness to help give me some guidance on walking through the process of forgiveness, both for myself and others.

There are times when the principle of forgiveness is challenging for me to comprehend because I feel afraid to let go of the anger. Who would I be without it?

Or I feel too overwhelmed by the pain that the other person has caused me to let it go and forgive. However, to hold onto all that pain and suffering only perpetuates the pain and suffering further.

This is an excerpt from the book The Tao of Forgiveness by William Martin

“The conditioned mind enjoys anger though it would deny that it does anger covers up fear and energizes that part of us who wants to kick butt and take names -a potential feeling in the midst of situations that makes us feel impotent. The conditioned mind becomes nervous when the Tao mind suggests seeing and accepting things as they are. If we just smile and say everything is OK we are being naive and irresponsible. If we don't get angry we'll never change anything but the Tao mind does not ask us to smile nor does it suggest that accepting things as they are is the same as saying they are OK. It does not even ask us to not get angry. Anger is just as acceptable to the Tao mind as any other emotion. It only asks that we practice seeing clearly how the anger diverts and dissipates our natural energy. That energy would otherwise be available for loving compassionate and constructive action”

Sometimes coming to this place of willingness to change is something that we have been running from for a long time too. Once we get here it can feel uncomfortable. This is when I found Tao Mind Meditations to be helpful. These are the sayings I say in my head while doing sitting or walking meditation. 

Here is a link to a short walking meditation while using the below-walking mind meditation. 

“I do not want to forgive,

I want to feel better.

I do not want forgiveness,

I want things to be made right.

But I am willing to take one small step in the dark and then another.”

The principle of forgiveness is not easily absorbed or implemented. Forgiveness isn't linear and you will likely have to work on forgiving that same person time and time again. It doesn't mean that you have done anything wrong or that you are not healing hard enough. It means that you are in your process. 

This is a quote I have been thinking about for a few days now;

“In forgiveness, there is room for everything. In clinging there is room for very little.”